Roughly every Friday for the last two years, I close my laptop at 5 and speed walk to my boxing gym.
I chose this gym relatively randomly (location, price, and focus on technique rather than cardio boxing) and have glued myself to 5:30pm sessions with Dan, obsessed with my new active hobby. While I love my quieter Friday nights centered around boxing, I have thought to gripe once or twice about going to another gym that offers a weekday class with similar benefits. But I can’t shake it, I’ve committed to this one!!
I have since done this same thing with my recent undertaking of beginner’s hip hop. I am trying to be more open minded, going to different studios or choreographers, but I already have tunnel vision with a healthy dose of scarcity mindset. In the same vein, I’ve also been known to delete dating apps after a good first date, despite being well aware things can still head south after the second.
There are plenty of other great gyms, dance studios and (Lord, hopefully!) men. So why do I try to die on that hill?
It’s the same thing with brand loyalty. There’s a level of I don’t know why but I do to the mass culture carrying a brand on their back, whether you are a card-carrying customer or a bystander who ogles away. When I say this, I mean the ones that are a step further up the ladder from simply having an affinity for them. Like borderline lay your life on the line (metaphorically speaking) for an atelier or a best selling luxury handbag. Heck, there are some things where I’m not too far off: I follow accounts on IG named “tomfordforgucci” and “miucciapradaarchive”!
There’s a lot of “buy this, not that” we subscribe to. Outside of mainstream influencer culture, where they post in exchange for gifts without necessarily having mandated know-how in the space, it is often the case in my experience that experts will know more than me about the quality craft of the garment, the back story of the brand, etc. And I can live with that, because I believe there’s loads for me to learn in fashion — I have probably aspired more than I have studied, per se.
“This Telfar bag imported, Birkins them shit’s in storage!”
— Beyoncé in her bop SUMMER RENAISSANCE
So you’re a Tabis girl. Or High Sport office chic. A Miu Miu mamí if you will (should I ™ that??). Saw that Sheerluxe TikTok about how drinking out of chilly’s is cool again, so you too threw out your massive Stanley Cup that just last week you were shouting from the rooftops for everyone to jump in on the fun. Aren’t you tired of getting sent into a tizzy every time you switch up your commitment to brands, for whatever new reason?
Let’s go bigger than fashion: the news I get from late-night punchlines, CNN, BBC, the Daily Mail, Washington Post, Fox News, or TikTok clips are all going to frame the topic differently. The US and the UK are going to report on conflict in a country they’ve muddied the military waters in an entirely new lens than the country itself. Social media will leave you feeling like you need xyz, but people who aren’t on the apps or temporarily go away have a natural shift in focus. If you choose to stay in it, it’s likely that you could use some media literacy to know the why behind the what. So, too, with fashion and consumption.
I know a few weeks back there was some really great discourse on Substack about The Row. I imagine I have been late to the Row elevated minimalist party — I only started paying attention to MK & Ashley this time around when Kendall Jenner was papped a few years back wearing their label head-to-toe — but I still felt a pang of, what was it… guilt??bittersweet sickness??confusion as to where to look next for inspiration?? after learning of the paradox between their untouchable price tags and their aptly nicknamed “peasant pieces” (in a very engaging read from Totally Rec!
). But I snapped back into focus. Why should it affect me at all?I don’t think pledging allegiance to a designer or cult-favorite product is the virtue signal we think it is. What we inhale from fellow newsletters, brand campaigns, influencers, or publications may be “propaganda” that requires us to have greater media literacy to get around to the underlying motive. Even the ‘good’ ones deserve scrutiny.
I think consumerism is the only place where non-monogamy can be ethical, wink wink. Don’t tie yourself down!!! You shouldn’t go into an identity crisis just because what you like isn’t as widely acclaimed as something else. The same should go for finding out a brand isn’t holding up their end when it comes to protecting laborers in their factories, providing you garments with safe dyes and PFAS-free treatments, or doing what they can to avoid burning up the atmosphere.
Brands should work a lot harder to make us give a shit. Right now, there’s not enough reason for them to do so, especially on the scale they currently operate. So give them one! The pseudo-intimacy of fashion fandom is just not that serious. I feel like we all know this, but it’s a hard pill to swallow in practice.
If, say, a headline goes out tomorrow revealing some dirty secret about Reformation, I would be bummed! I love their style, eco ethos and attention to detail in community building. That said, I would just say “okay” and carry on with searching for something better. I don’t love Ref so much that I couldn’t live without it.
Don’t make it deeper than it is - we are just a number to them. And that’s okay when we’re talking about large scale commercial businesses! These are parasocial relationships. It constantly amazes me how personal we can make our connection to a label on a shirt. There must be a separation of self from the designer/garment if we hope to avoid conforming to brand buy-in for the sake of it*. As much as you care now, who knows? In two months you might forget about them, or they might prove their tried-and-true day ones wrong.
*I say this as someone who believes we should pay attention to the “story” behind the garment. Admittedly, it sounds like these are slightly competing theories, but you have to put them within the context of global capitalism and/or local artisans and crafters for the distinctions to make sense IMO.
Strong opinions, loosely held… “We’ll see” mentality… Sayings like these aren’t typically applied to our shopping lens, but they should be! The true assessment of our alignment is what our habits and go-to brands communicate in regards to our values; not what they communicate about our image.
Let’s play the field guys. Find what you like, and give them a shot, but don’t get so swept up that you lose yourself in the embarrassment of a brand’s actions. Constantly ask yourself to consider why you like him the brand, not if it/its community likes you back. We’ll all create a lot less waste that way, mentally and physically.
Was this actually just me writing about dating woes? Ha! I guess we’ll never know.
Xoxo byeeeeee
Ryann
ICYMI
The Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund I shared with you all last week continues to surpass its original aim - a small win for the movement, but seeing as how nothing seems to be slowing down on the ground I find it very worthwhile to share again.
Read the Vibe Check to charge your summer energy. I also recently went to Ireland, and have a post about going to the gym with my bestie that people keep reading and liking which warms my heart.
ugh this is so on the money!!! currently having a crisis of personal taste because i feel like our outward identity seems to be so closely tied to where we eat, where we shop, what we consume etc. i have a love/hate relationship with socks house meeting because they get it so right but i also get read for absolute filth as a hackney girl lol
I have been using Socks account as a marketing research tool. They are so good.
Also, trying to collect a list of accounts that do the venn diagrams, college dumb/smart charts and more.
Extremely useful.