Stepping Out

In 2025, you can catch me outside

On the move.

I thoroughly enjoy and savor each and every bit of the winter holidays — twinkly lights, thick knitwear, the smell of pine or warm vanilla. Familiar faces and classic tunes or films. Laughter bellowing and echoing off the walls, condensation on the windows of a full house, cards or dice tossed around tables, alcohol or soft drinks and cups of coffee accompanying hands.

The days between have a sort of lingering, dormant feel that’s odd and simultaneously pleasant. A brisk walk is a vigorous exercise, the kitchen becomes more experimental as the leftovers dwindle, movies and football are paired with puzzles and new books. And the NAPS you have then! When I lived in the UK, I thought designating an extra bank holiday for this on Boxing Day was so clever.

All those warm fuzzies may be true still, but I sense a stirring. Does all this lying around birth a new social drive? Deep, deep within the crevasses between my joints there’s a cry that occasionally ekes out. I must get out of the house and make something of myself. All my organs have banded together and decided that it’s time to make a run for it. I need to dance and sing, chase and be chased by anything but the stillness and quiet I’ve stewed in over the holidays.

For this reason I find I’m well suited for city living, certainly: I hit a sort of ease to coast on when I return to my creature comforts, even now when the residence is an entirely new locale. I’m ready for heels to hit the pavement, clutching book pages as the subway jostles, to be surprised at a conversation struck up out of thin air. I need a little magic to feel shiny, and I’m going to get it if I can gather enough courage to step out and be courageous.

I don’t have resolutions at the new year very often as they come and go in phases throughout the entire year… and I’ve already plotted out my goals for the next ten years, so I’d like to think I’m set on this front. However, I will share how I plan to be an involved, courageous citizen:

HOW I’M STEPPING OUT THIS YEAR

1. Going to the ballet. I haven’t been too invested previously, but a friend took me to a special Balanchine performance at the Palais Garnier in Paris two years ago and it was the dreamiest, most magical evening. You should have at least one thing in your repertoire that requires you to get dolled up and engage in polite society for the evening; call it my Moonstruck rule. It makes you feel like an entirely new, cultured, sophisticated version of yourself… which is still you, but at the ballet/opera/gallery opening/Broadway/etc. Obstructed view isn’t always as bad as it sounds!

2. Buying tickets to more shows, sports, in-theater films and gigs.

3. Dating. Intentional, zero apps/IRL only, fun, low-stakes-but-still-picky dating. It feels bleh to put into words, but I won’t deny that it’s on the agenda.

4. Reading at a bar or diner window at various times of day. I like to do this with a single drink and chips or Parmesan-dusted frites.

5. Asking Internet People To Hang Out. If “every Substack writer lives in New York”, then I better make good use of my residence in the city, dammit! If you’re someone I’ve interacted with on here, let’s get together.

6. Having a go-to market, park & bookstore to wander about no matter the occasion — this helps cut out any time in the morning humming and hawing about how to get out of the house and start the day. Do it once and you can start a rhythm that’s easy to follow even on hard days.

7. I WILL! go out dancing. Even if I have to kiss a few frogs house DJs to find the perfect spot.

8. Taking classes after work. Trying something new on this front proved exceedingly beneficial to my self-esteem, mood and stress levels this past year and I’m ready to come back for more.

9. Traveling to other friends’ cities. I call these ‘celeb visits’ to places like Chicago or DC that I know relatively well and get to cosplay my friends’ lives, their favorite places slowly becoming mine each time I visit.

10. Talking to people more. Saying good morning on the sidewalk, or briefly engaging in small talk in the elevator, handing out compliments freely. I get a sort of greedy smile any time I make friends in a bar or at a mutual friend’s gathering — I have a knack for it — but I find there are times still where I have the desire to connect with someone, even if it’s only for a moment, but I lack the language to get me there. All it takes is a bit more practice!

11. Agreeing to be a +1 to just about anything. See above.

12. Walking around more. Just walking for walking’s sake! It does so much for your attitude, your view of your life in the big or small picture, and is (still, in my humble opinion) an underrated physical activity. Even if I am prone to walk incessantly fast, I consume my environment rather slowly when I walk around.

13. Traveling, be it domestic or abroad, always finds itself on the list, though for this newsletter’s purposes it’s not as important as the smaller gestures that precede it.

Many of these will sound simple, because I believe getting outside and being a person of the world should be. Socializing and gaining new perspective shouldn’t always be so complicated. The hardest part is starting to do it!

See you out there xoxo