What One-ups Style? A Story

On transforming your closet into meaningful moments

Aug 12, 2024

This post may be too long to read in your inbox. Try opening it in the app or a browser. I promise it’s worth it!

“Don’t just think about what you need at this house, in this moment — you may want to consider adding things to your registry that will be used for the next twenty years, or even become your heirlooms!”

I’ve been helping one of my best friends with her wedding registry this weekend. We laughed as I read off a list my mom and I had come up with in anticipation of the shower we’re throwing for them, full of items she and her fiancée had hardly begun to consider but definitely needed. I gave the advice to consider the longevity of the items they could ask for, because I could tell they were going to be satisfied with any nice gift a guest could bestow upon them without taking into account that people use their wedding gifts for a majority (if not the entirety!) of their lives.

Halfway into making their registry profile on Crate & Barrel, I could sense my trigger-happy shopping thirst was kicking into gear. There were serving trays, salad spinners, olive oil holders and spoon rests, and they deserved every single thing!!! The scene from 27 Dresses flashed before my eyes: “This isn’t any vase…This is the vase that Tess will get out when George brings home flowers, just because he felt like it.” How many memorable moments will come from these gifts that carry through their lives?

Perhaps the counter argument here is that it’s just stuff, but I believe that’s only the case when stuff lacks a storytelling element… especially in fashion. It may come from how the clothing was made (think hand dyed like I wrote about for Saheli Women), how you found it, or what happens while you wear it, but it’s about the story nonetheless that keeps you coming back to one garment over another.

In my life, this has operated as both a shopping and closet retention strategy. If I’m adding anything these days, there’s unlimited filters to run through: is it eco-conscious or circular, is it a flattering silhouette, is it priced fairly and will it hold up for a long period of time, etc. I like to imagine that having a compelling story links many of these requirements together, not in the least because what I wear is a reflection of my own beliefs and values. By identifying a garment’s story, I hope to better understand my relationship to it and my relationship to the world.

I would argue basics can function as memorable pieces in this way — you may have better reasons to hold onto a white tee that was made with organic cotton at a union factory that also fits you in all the perfect places, even when the day itself isn’t perfect, than one that’s sort of cute from H&M that you really only wear underneath button-ups or vests anyway. And that’s a call-out to me!

A majority of my closet that falls within this concept has been acquired within the last three years. Most early twenty-somethings aren’t thinking about making their going out top a future family heirloom, so I’ll give myself a little grace for not thinking of this sooner! Here are a few of my favorites that I plan to have & to hold until the threads all fall off:

THE DETAILS: A Y2K fitted white seersucker chevron button-up blouse + a navy wrap skirt with red and white stripes, complete with (hidden in photo) double leather buckle straps at the hip.

THE STORY: The blouse is one of the few coveted hand-me-downs from my mom that puts up a strong number of compliments every time I take it out on the town. While she’s not one to get emotionally attached to clothing, having once told me “why would I keep the [weird stuff] I wore in the 80s?”*, I always wondered what kept her holding on to this shirt long enough for me to wear.

As it turns out, she had a very memorable purchasing experience — a young mom of four who recently relocated from Detroit to Kalamazoo, where my dad had recently started work at the hospital downtown, walking into a boutique that made her feel like she didn’t belong. Was it a different tax bracket? Too mature? Too polished for her preference? Cold and nonchalant service? I’m not sure, though I can imagine many of us have a relatable shopping experience. Perhaps she’s kept it all this time because she cherished the moment she could afford a quality garment with a higher price tag than she was used to, or that it felt more “fashion-y” than her existing closet. She doesn’t splurge on clothing often, so I know this moment was special for her. Now when I wear it, I get to participate in that sentiment with her.

The skirt was a vintage find that I purchased from Nude Lagoon in London, which is owned and operated by my best friend’s older sister. You can find them most weekends at a stall in Portobello Market. She sourced it from the markets in Italy on a trip that Ellice actually accompanied her on — when I wear it, I like to think they found it just for me.

*Let the record show, she was fuming when high-waisted pants came back. We converge at Polo, Levi’s and J.Crew and diverge at most everything else.

THE DETAILS: A sleeveless, cotton, red-and-turquoise printed dress that brushes the kneecap with two flirty tiers of ruffles.

THE STORY: I went to Ghana for two weeks through my college’s athletics department in May 2018, traveling between Ada, Tamale and Accra. Our final day of the trip, we perused one of the largest markets the capital had to offer — for the life of me, I cannot remember the name (you’ll see why), though most of my Google searches are saying Makola Market — ahead of heading to the airport for our 12+ hour travel home.

I knew I was going to want a few trinkets that my parents could keep around the house, and was dead set on combing through the best jewelry and vibrant printed dresses the artisans had to offer. I had spent a majority of the trip stunned by the fashion as we drove by: intricate designs, loud colors that were so saturated they couldn’t possibly wash out, modest yet entirely breezy as the sun beat down on us in some of the hottest days of the month.

After finding this beauty and feeling especially satisfied with my finds, I started to feel extremely overwhelmed and clammy, beginning to see stars. I took a seat on the floor of one of the stalls as my friend was bartering with the seller, the sickness hitting like a crashing wave rather than creeping in. Within twenty minutes I was calling for the nurse that had been accompanying us through the trip, becoming feverish and shaking profusely, (unfortunately) cutting our shopping excursion short. I can’t remember much about what was going on around me, but I will likely never forget being too weak to carry my own bags and having to go through separate security as they interrogated me, discerning if I was fit to fly or would have to stay in a hospital while everyone else flew home. AS IF! I couldn’t have sobbed harder by the time I made it to the gate with everyone else.

Soooo, it was in fact malaria. I thought I had prepared and prevented all I needed to, but hey ho. I’d still recommend visiting Ghana to anyone, and love busting this dress out every summer. I feel extremely lucky that I had enough time to buy it before the side effects set in!

THE DETAILS: A nude (leans a little peachy) bandage top that features a square neck and high crossed back, layered here underneath a white tank, with a pink thin-knit midi skirt with white bobbles and faint stripes. Very demure, very mindful.

THE STORY: I used to live near Abney Hall in Stoke Newington and always loved checking out the racks at the Hackney Flea weekends. This particular time I was able to find both the bandage top (sourced from France, I believe 90s?) and the skirt, the latter of which was part of a 1980’s power suit set.

“Would it be so bad if I only bought the skirt?” I asked the vintage seller as she watched me contemplating in the mirror. “Not at all,” she laughed.

It was March; I had red hair, had recently given up on a situationship ever wanting to date me, and was feeling particularly chatty that day. Snaking further down the market, my roommate and I stopped to run our fingers through some posters, as one does. A good chunk of them were splashed with phrases written in French; this was because the curator was a French-born Londoner, a twenty-something guy manning the post told us.

We spoke for the next ten or so odd minutes about his mom (the curator) and who cares what else. He had buzzed off his dark hair and sported thick black rimmed glasses. Decent height, decent chat. My roommate and I said thanks and left, and as we exited Abney Hall I noted how nice it is to talk to someone attractive and expect nothing of them. Well reader, not this time! That story can be read below. My roomie turned me right around to march back to Mr. Cool French Guy and ask him out. I had just bought two sheer items of clothing, so if I had enough confidence to wear these surely I could ask a stranger a simple question.

If rejection was always as kind as it was that day (“Oh sorry, I’ve actually just asked someone to be my girlfriend last weekend” quickly followed by a hype-up speech for my bravery), perhaps I would do it more often! At least I walked out with vintage pieces that made feel good in my skin; who needs to be ‘sexy to someone’ when you believe in it yourself?

THE DETAILS: A cobalt French chore jacket paired with an IZOD blue and white striped button-up and suede straight leg trousers. As I mentioned in an A/W Vibe Check, this is a great color combo for suede and I imagine we’ll be seeing more of it for the incoming season.

THE STORY: I’ve been on the prowl for a chore jacket since I first read up on the Carhartt alternative (with a little more history to boot), but hadn’t been able to nab one of the quality and fit I desired at any of my regular spots around London. It’s not that niche of an item, but I was prepared to hold out for my personal collector’s version of the garment.

My last week in London, I had the luxury of a visit from my dad, and I made him a true Hackney convert by the end of the week as we coasted through the city on Lime bikes to all the spots I hold near and dear to my heart. I had perfectly orchestrated the quintessential Saturday morning in Hackney: breakfast on the canal at Towpath, followed by a cruise through London Fields and finding lunch and gifts to bring back home at Broadway Market. Ellice (the same one mentioned above) once said even if you feel lucky, it’s usually a result of working incredibly hard, but how difficult is it to find your ideal chore jacket when there happens to be an entire rack under 30 GBP dedicate to this singular garment?

Wearing this jacket, I get to experience the joy of planning a “perfect” day for my dad and I all over again. Although I’m missing the Nepalese momo I had for lunch that day! Ugh </3

THE DETAILS: A red floral jersey skirt with a lettuce trim hem.

THE STORY: I found it in a vintage store while visiting a friend in Madrid, which has a pretty distinct secondhand fashion culture believe it or not!

But our story takes us to one of Florence’s hottest days on record in 2022. To be exact, the line for the cabs outside the airport arrivals. I could guess that I was roughly the fifth or sixth party waiting in line, with a long queue forming behind me. After the first cab didn’t show until twenty minutes into waiting, the groups ahead of me quickly coordinated carpooling, which left me to turn around and ask the — you guessed it — 6’2 tanned golden man of my dreams speaking on the phone in German if he wanted to share. Eek!

After a nervous ‘Bist du Deutsche?’ on my end, I piled into a cab with my Austrian beau as we talked with no end in sight for the entirety of the drive. As we pulled up to my friend’s Airbnb, I ran through my head all the possible ways we could keep a good thing going. He said he was taking a train first thing tomorrow to Rome and only came in to have dinner with his friends… it didn’t sound like either of us would derail any plans for something spontaneous to occur between us. I was mentally shaking my fists at the sky.

To my surprise, we both exited the car on opposite sides at my stop as he paid for the fare. He said he wasn’t too far (he was) and planned to walk from there. I buzzed for my friend to come to the door, and we stood still on our respective sides of the narrow street, likely too scared to say anything we might mean. I thanked him and lingered in the doorway as my friend and I hugged hello, watching him turn back the way we had just came from in the cab. This note always makes me regret doing nothing because I thought it was so gentlemanly of him to stay in the car until I had reached my destination. I knew enough information about him to find him on LinkedIn six months later, far too late to attempt anything worthwhile.

I put on the skirt and smile, remembering a missed opportunity that often feels like nothing was missed at all.

THE DETAILS: A sheer mesh cardigan with lettuce trim underneath a leather vest, completed by a mini skirt and red slingback flats.

THE STORY: I’ve mentioned before my affinity for the secondhand shops in the Laines at Brighton, both for healthy price points and fun finds. The leather vest was on one of my final conquests at Mammoth Vintage, which I love to pair with floral dresses, mini skirts and 501s! I always had the feeling while I was in Brighton that I could manifest the perfect vintage pieces I so desired, magically cropping them up in one of the stores I frequented as if they had just washed up on the shores of the English Channel.

The cardigan is another one of those hand-me-downs from my mom :) It was the formal Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants between my mom, older sister and I, always on hand to cover shoulders with a sleeveless dress. Since mesh has grown in popularity again in recent years, I’ve pulled it out of its relatively dusty occupation to go for a spin with everything from leather to satin to denim in my closet. Don’t you love how an item can transform over the years?

Thanks for indulging in my stories today. There were so many options that I was pulling from my closet this week that could have applied in countless ways (from swapping with friends, my first designer piece, my first slow fashion item, etc), it almost became overwhelming walking down memory lane with each garment! That’s exactly why I ask guests in my Take Five interviews what the most sentimental story is behind one of their garments; I hope you can look at your closet with the same love and adoration.

Wishing you all a happy Monday and a week full of sweet memories xx

ADMIN

My first paywalled post goes live at the end of the month! I plan to have one post a month exclusively for paying subs. Here’s a couple options if you so choose:

Friends, Family and Collaborators: Friends and fam, you’re in the clear! And if you’re a writer and want to do a collaborative post or recommend each other to our subscriber bases, I want to extend a freebie to you! If you fall in this camp, message me and I’ll send you a link for a comp.

Engaged Reader: This newsletter gets a lot of traction when readers are bouncing their ideas off in the comments, sharing to Notes, or giving a nod in their own newsletters. Consider this 50% off as a token of my gratitude for your commitment to building the discourse.

Reader on a Budget: I recognize some of my readers may be students, early professionals, or subscribers to multiple Substacks. If you want to support me, you can do so for roughly $10 (if I did the math right!) on an annual subscription.

August Kickoff Offer: AUG24 will give you 24% off an annual sub as a thank you for joining during the launch!

ICYMI

Do you enjoy my sappy personal essays? Here’s an oldie but a goodie: