16 Comments
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Aisha's avatar

I’ve never related to something more! I’m navigating my way out of creative block & needed to hear this. It feels good to take control of the ship & find myself again!

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Barnaby's avatar

Late to the party here but this is absolute GOLD DUST right now, reminding myself that everything is part of the process of getting to who I am (and will be) , that the only thing we can trust is our ability to live; appreciate this essay on such a deep level and you’ve introuced me to such a useful concept (identity capital), somethin I want to sit with an interrogate, to use as a lens to write more and more.

I totally relate to how starting a substack has helped, and I’m so glad that finding a community here has helped ❤️ in short, I loved this

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Desiree's avatar

What a great reminder. I'm personally in the midst of my "quarter life crisis" and contemplating if I should take a masters next - but was apprehensive as I'm not sure if it would "derail" me. Now I'm convinced I should read The Defining Decade because of the insights shared in this piece.

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Michael Kearney's avatar

“Admitting naivety or that I have little knowledge of something always gives me the space to accept who I am and be more curious about what’s out there. Putting up a front is a waste of time.”

This is great. Rolling this at the top of my 2025 resolution list. Thank you for this.

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helen :-)'s avatar

would love love love to hear about your grad school process!

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ellie's avatar

This came up in my feed way later than it was published but this was exactly what I needed to read tonight. I just made the very difficult decision to leave my first post college job for a new opportunity and was having such mixed feelings about it especially after a very rough year personally and professionally. This came at the perfect time as a reminder that it’s all part of the journey 🫶🏻

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Viktoriia Vasileva's avatar

I loved this and Julia’s piece ❤️❤️

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Ryann Stutz's avatar

awww thanks viktoriia xx

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Amber's avatar

Ugh this came at the perfect time - I am in the funk of all funks and honestly am forgetting who I am. Thanks for the vulnerability and sharing your experience. I keep a list of my fav Substack pieces and am adding this one to my list to come back and reread ❤️

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Ryann Stutz's avatar

it happens! I got to a point where I told myself, this HAS to be my lowest point - and if it goes up from here, what does that look like? It was the first time I felt in control of all of that and made me more motivated to accept the funk and move past it :)

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casey wetherbee's avatar

Whoa this piece hit! I also read The Defining Decade for the first time last year, as I was gearing up to quit my job and move abroad to pursue freelance writing. And yeah, pitching publications (even though most responses are a no or lack thereof) is part of a journey and building toward a larger goal, which I really had to repeat to myself at first when I was literally just hoping for my FIRST byline... Even (and maybe especially) the aspects of my experience living abroad over the last year that aren't easily quantifiable or resume-able, which includes the personal/social components of life, are important toward that identity capital that can take so many forms.

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Ryann Stutz's avatar

thank you Casey !!

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Rylee Thayer's avatar

Ahhhhhhhh in love with this and a great reminder for myself. I'm so proud of you :')

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Julia Harrison's avatar

awww ryann ty for the shoutout <3 I loved reading this

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DANNY's avatar

🤸🏼 there’s nothing more respectable than a woman fully comfortable in her own skin. Keep doing you - I’m proud of all your choices and leaps of faith too !

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Ryann Stutz's avatar

thank you so so much!!!

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